Fantasy Office


An office is incomplete without an amorphous of life, and Walter defines that role better than anyone. If that's something to be proud of. The only problem? No one knows enough about him to write his bio. Heck, no one knows if he even works here. But there is one thing that's frighteningly obvious: His obsession for fantasy sports, which is balanced out by his lack of interest in the actual sport that fuels his fantasy fandom. And for some reason, that's a surprise to no one.

An office is incomplete without an amorphous of life, and Walter defines that role better than anyone. If that's something to be proud of. The only problem? No one knows enough about him to write his bio. Heck, no one knows if he even works here. But there is one thing that's frighteningly obvious: His obsession for fantasy sports, which is balanced out by his lack of interest in the actual sport that fuels his fantasy fandom. And for some reason, that's a surprise to no one.


If it weren't for the swine flu he caught last April, "Koz" would've been named Employee of the Month every month he's worked here. And yet, for all the positive publicity he's received from those EotM awards, it could be said that he'd win consecutive awards for "Least Liked Co-Worker," too. And that's not to say he's a mean guy. It's just, well, no one likes an overachiever who's the first to arrive and last to leave. Especially in an office like this. But who knows? Maybe Ted and Gina can increase his cred before Walter steers him completely off course.

If it weren't for the swine flu he caught last April, "Koz" would've been named Employee of the Month every month he's worked here. And yet, for all the positive publicity he's received from those EotM awards, it could be said that he'd win consecutive awards for "Least Liked Co-Worker," too. And that's not to say he's a mean guy. It's just, well, no one likes an overachiever who's the first to arrive and last to leave. Especially in an office like this. But who knows? Maybe Ted and Gina can increase his cred before Walter steers him completely off course.


He had it all. A two-sport star in college, Ted had a bed in every sorority house... But everything changed once he got injured. Pro scouts stopped calling, his invite to the NFL Combine was rescinded, and soon enough, he couldn't even land a date with the library intern. Once graduation came around, his pops knew a guy who knew someone else, and that's how he wound up overseeing accounts at this company. Funny how the world turns, huh? Ted doesn't think so.

He had it all. A two-sport star in college, Ted had a bed in every sorority house... But everything changed once he got injured. Pro scouts stopped calling, his invite to the NFL Combine was rescinded, and soon enough, he couldn't even land a date with the library intern. Once graduation came around, his pops knew a guy who knew someone else, and that's how he wound up overseeing accounts at this company. Funny how the world turns, huh? Ted doesn't think so.


A former tuba player and bass fishing champion, the delivery guys is on the hunt for some prime office tail. His job affords him the 2 simplest pleasures in life, delivering "large" packages to women who would not even notice him in the grocery store and listening to the Raiders on the AM radio in his truck. He looks forward to the office visit every day since it's the one place he can get a free breakfast and scope the ladies before making his run. The question is, does he deliver too early?

A former tuba player and bass fishing champion, the delivery guys is on the hunt for some prime office tail. His job affords him the 2 simplest pleasures in life, delivering "large" packages to women who would not even notice him in the grocery store and listening to the Raiders on the AM radio in his truck. He looks forward to the office visit every day since it's the one place he can get a free breakfast and scope the ladies before making his run. The question is, does he deliver too early?


Growing up as the only girl and youngest child of a sports-crazed family, Gina couldn't run from athletic competition. But that's what happens when your genes come from parents who were state champs in just about everything they did and your older brothers have more emblems on their letterman jackets than Jeff Foxworthy has "You know you're a redneck when..." sayings. So when boredom started kicking in a year after she landed this job, she was looking for anything to keep her going. And even though Walter creeped her out when inviting her to join, there was no way she could run from the chance to embarrass three guys. Besides, now she can finally get back at the male race for all the "loving torture" she received as a kid.

Growing up as the only girl and youngest child of a sports-crazed family, Gina couldn't run from athletic competition. But that's what happens when your genes come from parents who were state champs in just about everything they did and your older brothers have more emblems on their letterman jackets than Jeff Foxworthy has "You know you're a redneck when..." sayings. So when boredom started kicking in a year after she landed this job, she was looking for anything to keep her going. And even though Walter creeped her out when inviting her to join, there was no way she could run from the chance to embarrass three guys. Besides, now she can finally get back at the male race for all the "loving torture" she received as a kid.


A late season transfer from Department 6, Earl competes with a chip on his shoulder. Raised on the East Coast, he’s smart and funny but not always friendly, especially towards people who seem to’ve always had it easy. But that’s what happens when you grow up babysitting your seven younger siblings while your parents work double shifts. Shoot. Because of those duties, Earl didn’t start playing organized sports until his junior year of high school. Then once he graduated, he leapt right into the work force to help his parents pay bills. Come to think of it, that could be why he doesn’t have a soft spot for some guy who blew out his ACL.

A late season transfer from Department 6, Earl competes with a chip on his shoulder. Raised on the East Coast, he’s smart and funny but not always friendly, especially towards people who seem to’ve always had it easy. But that’s what happens when you grow up babysitting your seven younger siblings while your parents work double shifts. Shoot. Because of those duties, Earl didn’t start playing organized sports until his junior year of high school. Then once he graduated, he leapt right into the work force to help his parents pay bills. Come to think of it, that could be why he doesn’t have a soft spot for some guy who blew out his ACL.

Back to Top